When is it "OK" to lie?

[DragonKing]

Subtitled "Dam I'm getting old"

I took my 5 year old daughter the other day to get some goldfish.
She picked out two big ones, One Black and One Orange one.
She names them Dr.pepper an Pepsi.

She really loves them as a kid does and as Fish do one died
while she was with her mom. I'm supposed to get her this weekend.
Do i Just replace the dead one and be done with it?

Or is now a life lesson I must teach and explain life and death and all that?
I'm thinking she knows all this already, 5 years old is so more advanced these days.

[D-man]

buy a new fish - no need to mention it therefor no lie involved

[TheEnforcer]

Oh boy... I'd say get a new fish... if she were a bit older I'd say use it as a lesson but that's awfuklly young.

[jennidahling]

If the fish died when she was there, then I would say teach her about the circle of life and bury the fish in the garden, explaining how the fish can help the plants. Since she's not there, then I say replace the fish and save that inevitable lesson for next week when the other on dies. LOL

[Imortyl Pussycat]

replace it and say nothing unless she notices that it is a different fish (it could happen, has happened to me). if she calls you out, don't lie. don't make drama, just say "oh yeah, the other one got called to heaven while your gone and had to go so i bought a new one to make sure the other one didn't get lonely" after that you're on your own

[crapx]

There are 2 ways of lies

White Lies
Black Lies

Those are used by adult towards adults.

For kids it is simple, face them the facts of life while you hold their hand and say, It is ok, this is life. Kids are young and learn to deal with it on a own way. Cause they learn young, they can take profit from this and be strong while dealing with life and death.

It is not way good for the kid to let her find out on her own way she got lied to. Perhaps they do understand, but nevertheless, it should not be needed to explain on a later age to a kid you had to lie to her about something.

In crucial situations, it is good to lie to a kid. When she asks why their is so much war on television, you can say, thats all grown up games. People do stupid things and fight. A kid will learn then not to fight ( perhaps ) Later she will find out it was all a political game.
Only then when she reminds the White Lie, she can think, Ahhhh yeah of course, politics and 5 years... pfff that is no combination.

Sorry i gave a long blablablabla
But i`m grown up without those lies and prevention of the hard world.
And it has done me good, i learned on a early age to understand the world more.
This helped me.

Direct confrontation might seems hard or painfull.


I end with some whise words of a dead man, but he was whise

Lie one time, get in trouble 100 times
Tell the truth and get in trouble 1 time


Sorry for my input on this matter
:)

[kmanrox]

mm i think its ok to lie anytime it benefits you

j/k


kinda

[ragecash-ben]

Tell your kid the truth. Thats what i would do.

[Sabby]

Hmmmm...

A goldfish is probably a good thing for a first time deal with death for a child.. better than a kitty or puppy and much much better than a close relative.

A one week old goldfish is not likely to have a lifelong emotional impact on a child.

Just please give her a better explanation than the "royal flush".


Sabby:)

[D-man]

so what did you do? you never said? lots of interesting replies - we had a dwarf hamster - it died, the little one asked once we said heaven - the older one the same - nether really seemed to be too stressed about it but they knew he was old - a, see it today fish and dont see it tomorrow is another - "Daddy did you feed my fish?" Why did you kill my fish daddy? Daddy did he taste good? hummmmm

[DragonKing]

Well, She is 5 going on fifty. She also knows how to play me like a Piano. I told her the fish ran away. She asked me if I killed it.
She was sad for a minute and aksed; Can you get me a turtle?

[OldJeff]

Goldfish....

Our daughter had a gold fish in a nice little bowl.....it died while she was at Nana's house....

We found one that looked just like him, in a feeder tank at the pet store, spent a quarter.

This feeder fish proceeded to out grow 6 tanks and grew to more than 6 inches. When it finaly died it was in a 50 gallon tank by itself.

As for the lying, that is pretty much the only lie about anything. Even told her the truth about Santa at a very young age, she said she knew.

It is OK to protect her from some things, but Tell her the REAL truth about big things as soon as possible, you will thank yourself down the road.